Say No To Drugs

In 1985, Enrique (Kiki) Camarena, a drug enforcement agent for the DEA, was close to exposing a multi-billion dollar drug pipeline when he was kidnapped and killed by some of Mexico's leading drug traffickers.  Saddened by the loss of a great officer, friend, and family member, those closest to him organized community groups to speak out against drug trafficking and to make drug free pledges in his honor.  Participants wore a red ribbon, symbolizing their commitment and pledge.  Thirty years later, Red Ribbon Week has become one of the nation's largest drug awareness programs.  Schools, businesses, media, community, and faith based organizations continue to sponsor drug free awareness events to publicize what is now known as  "Red Ribbon Week."

Earlier this year I volunteered with PTA to help with Red Ribbon Week events at my daughter's school.  Early in the planning process, we thought it would be a great idea for every Sunrise Elementary student to be able to plant a red bulb that would come up in the spring, reminding students of their promise to grow up drug free.

What was I thinking?!?

Dig a hole, throw in a bulb, cover it up.  How hard can that be?  Not so difficult, really.  ...Times 760 students and 29 different classes...  Thankfully a small army of parent volunteers made "Plant the Promise to Grow Up Drug Free" a huge success.  The final bulb went in the ground this afternoon, and with any luck, there will be 760 red tulips surrounding Sunrise Elementary in the spring.

Through the week as each group of students came outside to plant their bulbs, we engaged them in a short discussion of the importance of growing up drug free.  The other volunteer coordinator of the project shared with me today that a little girl in one of her groups said something about her mom not being healthy because of taking drugs and drinking alcohol.  Off and on through the planting process I heard a few other similar comments, and even specific references to drugs by name and terms associated with drug use.  It was disheartening to think that for some of the students, the only positive discussions they will ever have with adults about drugs comes from PTA volunteers.

At the same time I heard comments which reaffirmed what a powerful force parents are in the goal of helping children to grow up drug free.

"My parents talk to me about drugs," one girl told me.

"I know how to plant bulbs because I plant them with my mom," said another boy.

My favorite was from a fourth grader who had to dig a hole in a difficult spot of ground.  As he dug he told me how strong he was, and said, "I get it from my dad," then added, "I'm growing up to be just like him."

Parents, you really are the anti-drug.

There is a lot of current research supporting the role of parents in drug prevention.  In fact, most anti-drug campaigns target parent involvement as the key to children and teens avoiding drug traps.  When teens are surveyed about influences that keep them from trying drugs, parents are at the top of the list.  Yes, they really are listening.

Other ideas for helping to prevent drug abuse:

• Talk early and talk often.  Preschool is not too early to introduce discussions about drugs.  At this age there should be a foundation and vocabulary for discussions that will follow.  They can know there are drugs to help you when you're sick and drugs that make you sick and unhealthy.  They can know that drugs should come from a doctor and they shouldn't take them unless their name is on the label or prescription.  
• By early elementary school, children will hear references to drug use from peers and media.  A foundation of previous drug discussions leads progressively into continuing discussions about drugs as children's awareness grows.  Parents should let their children talk about the things they hear without discouraging the discussion or labeling it as "bad."  This is a great age to start referring specifically to health risks of smoking and alcohol abuse.  As you see advertising about cigarettes and alcohol, view it as an opportunity to point out myths associated with advertising and to discuss how the job of companies is to make money by getting people to buy their products.
• Later in elementary school children may start to seem bored with discussions about drug and alcohol use, but parents should initiate discussions, especially when opportunities present themselves (a unit in school, a drug reference on TV, etc.)  Many opportunities for discussions at this age occur informally, while driving, while engaging in an activity together, etc.  These are natural opportunities for discussion about the effects of drinking and driving, or the effects of drugs on health that might prevent engaging in sports or recreation.
• The same is true for teens, with a twist.  Teens have to develop autonomy.  That's the developmental goal of the teen years.  Parents have to strike a balance between involvement and control.  Ask questions, but be sure to avoid interrogations and make your questions come from a genuine interest in your child's life and friends.  Also, don't stop taking advantage of natural opportunities for discussion.  Let teens know that privileges are an extension of responsibility.  Love is extended unconditionally.  Trust is earned.  (I can love you enough to help you get where you need to be, but if you crashed my car three times last week, I probably won't trust you with the keys.)  

And a few more important ideas:

• Pre-teens and teens will know peers who become involved with drugs.  Parents should be empathetic to the conflicting messages and emotions their children will process as they see others go through drug use or experimentation.  It can be confusing and hurtful to see a peer go through changes in behavior, academic performance, etc.  Parents should not read empathy for friends or desire to talk about a friend's drug use as a desire for their child to be in the same situation.  Mostly they will want to talk and (even though they won't say it) they're looking for support and validation as they form their own ideas and opinions about the world.  Look for signs they want to talk, and be available for the really difficult conversations.
• If children or teens experiment with drugs, parents should value their role as allies in fighting against the drugs, not in fighting against their child about drugs.  Battles create a wedge.  Empathy creates a bond.  The rules and limits should continue to be clear, but should be enforced with love.  Parents should understand enabling behaviors, and understand the difference between being a parent and being a friend.  
• If teens are experimenting with drugs, parents should seek professional help.  Many parents ignore early warning signs and think they can fight the battle alone.  Addiction isn't about behavior, rules, or ability.  It's about overcoming strong chemical and biological urges created by substances which alter brain chemistry.  Early intervention is key.  It's a myth that someone using drugs has to hit "rock bottom" before they can get help.

Like the small army of volunteers helping students to "plant the promise," it takes a small army to help kids win the day-to-day battle against peer and cultural influences.  Parents lead the army.  Without you, it's a difficult battle to fight.