Cultural Competence

Like many others in my local community, I've been following a recent news story about acts of racism in a local high school.  I happen to live within the boundaries of Alta High School, and naturally as a parent and citizen of the area, I have concerns.

In a nutshell, a student recently participating in a school spirit rally put a white pillow case over his head and was making racist comments.  A follow-up letter from local school district representatives acknowledges the incident and also identifies concerns about other incidents of racism which were uncovered as well during their own investigation.  You can read more about the story here.

The purpose of discussing this issue isn't to point fingers or assign blame or further divide an already divided community, but hopefully to educate.  The truth is if we can't learn from incidents like this, we're bound to repeat them.  We live in a world that has come a long way, and yet at the same time we live in a world that deals increasingly with a lack of civility on both sides of polarizing issues, and reactions to this recent community event are no exception.

As parents and adults, we have an obligation to live and teach cultural competence.

Culture is defined as the behaviors and beliefs of social or ethnic groups.  This could include patterns of language, thoughts, actions, beliefs, customs, values, a variety of other subtle forms of behavior and living.

Competence is defined as possession (and I think internalization) of skills, knowledge and capacity in a particular area.  Implied in that definition is the ability to function effectively in that singular area of competence.

I believe that cultural competence is a way of being and living.  It is difficult to teach without experiencing.  It involves awareness of one's own self and world view, as well as an understanding that we are surrounded daily by others of diverse experiences and views.  It encompasses the very real, very human qualities of being able to interact and connect with other human beings across cultural boundaries, whether those are boundaries of nationality, religion, race, gender, sexuality, economic status, or political views (or any other area of cultural difference).

Here are a few ideas about developing cultural competence in our families and communities and teaching it to our children:

Personal and Family Cultural Competence:

1. Develop confidence in who you are as a person.  Awareness of one's own culture and belief systems leads to increased flexibility and tolerance of other cultural and belief systems.  Rigidity in beliefs and culture promotes isolation and ethnocentrism.  Be aware that confidence and awareness of your own belief doesn't require validation from others.  It's an internal sense of competence that comes with aligning lifestyle choices with belief patterns, and allowing others the same right.  
2. When incidents arise such as the one described above, can you see both sides?  Allow flexibility and empathy in your responses to situations which challenge cultural competence.  Balance your views with statements of understanding about opposing views.  Encourage family discussion of events that explore looking at issues from both sides.
3. Be aware of language.  Leave out words that isolate based on culture.  Only bring up cultural differences in conversation if it is relevant to the conversation.  Avoid discussing your "black friend" or your "gay friend" or your "non-religious friend."  Substitute words such as "they" or "those people" with specific and politically correct references which acknowledge the pride of other someone else's background.
4. Whether you see America as a melting pot or salad bowl, acknowledge all backgrounds as essential to who you are individually, and who we are collectively as a country.  Throughout the course of our history, many ethnic, religious, and cultural groups have been objects of discrimination as a result of egocentrism and ethnocentrism.  Diversity is what makes us uniquely American.
5. When you travel or attend cultural events be respectful of diversity.  Politely engage in learning about differences and culture without making judgements.  Be aware that your views seem just as foreign to others as theirs might to you.  You've heard the term "ugly American."  Travel and participate in cultural events as a polite guest.

Teaching Cultural Competence to Young Children:

1. Become involved in learning about other cultures in a non judgmental way.  Participate in school projects where other countries and cultures are discussed.  
2. Don't point out differences to children unless they notice first.  Children are naturally curious and they will notice differences, and parent response to them noticing is important.  Parents should not pass judgement on differences, nor should they pass judgement on a child for noticing differences.  This is where individual confidence and awareness of one's own culture and world view are noticed by children.  When a child notices differences, engage in a discussion about what they have noticed using respectful and politically correct language.  After you feel they are satisfied with the answer, lead the conversation to a discussion of similarities.  Help children understand that we all have different families, but we all love our families.  We all have different religions, but religions help guide our lives and decisions.  We might have different economic statuses, but we all work and provide for our families in ways that work for our own circumstances.  We might have different skin color or eat different food, but we all have hearts that love and tongues that taste, and bodies that work and function in the same way.  The possibilities for discussing similarities are as broad as the possibilities for discussing differences.
3. Discuss positive and negative aspects of all cultures, including your own, with respect.  When children hear parents reference their own culture in a negative way, they struggle with their own feelings of self worth and belonging.  If you disagree with negative aspects of culture, such as political or religious views, voice the disagreement as a personal view that acknowledges diversity, such as, "Other people believe......., but I believe..........."  
4. Use family situations to build a sense of individuality by acknowledging diversity in your own family.  Maybe you have family members with different food, clothing, or music preferences (or a variety of other preferences).  Validate the differences by allowing choice, and helping siblings to support the choices of each other.  If Danny has to attend Jen's ballet recital, it's ok to acknowledge that Danny doesn't have to like ballet to support his sister (and vice versa).
5. Limit television, computer, or gaming options that promote violence and disrespect.  Humor in children's programming is increasingly focused on sarcasm and disrespect.  Children see characters in media programming hurt and disrespect others, then see them return to being friends again with no real acknowledgement of the hurtful effect of that kind of behavior.  Watch those types of programming with them and point out the disparity in entertainment vs. real life.
6. Engage children in games to help them understand things from other points of view.  They can "look through someone else's eyes" to imagine what they might see.  Use magic glasses to make it fun.  They can play this game during sibling and friend disagreements or when they are being rigid about their own point of view.  Also try looking through the eyes of a third party (the dog, a visitor from Mars, etc.) to help them learn to describe objectively what they might see.

Cultivating Cultural Competence in Teens:

1. Be respectful to teens about their individual choices of friends, clothing, activities, music, beliefs, etc (as long as their choices are legal, safe, and healthy).  Teens, will demonstrate increased respect of other's choices and diversity when they are respected.  
2. Teens are developing their own sense of self and a healthy part of that development is world view.  Discussions of current  local and world events will spill over into home.  Teens say things to "get a reaction" or test and try new ideas in safe environments, such as home and school.  Allowing discussion of new ideas is a part of identity formation, and allowing discussion doesn't equate support of ideas.  Acknowledge the formation of your own beliefs.  When discussing your own point of view, don't use popular rhetoric to back it up.  Let them see that you've thought and explored ideas your self and come to your own conclusion based on exploration and gathering information.
3. Encourage respect and civility in conversations.  When you notice disrespect in conversations and dialogue with friends or family members, redirect without criticizing.  Start a new conversation or guide the conversation in a different direction.
4. Encourage teens to become involved in community organizations and community service to increase awareness and understanding of diverse groups and populations.  Teen years can become imbalanced with individual goals, routines, and pursuits.  It's healthy to help teens become involved in their communities.  Ideas for service and involvement don't  have to be expensive or time consuming to be engaging.
5. Make relationships important.  Relationships influence and guide thinking.  Teens align themselves with sources of validation.  If parents and community leaders respond in validating ways to teens, they become sources of influence rather than obstacles to be opposed.  
6. When you see flagrant acts of disrespect and discrimination, intervene regardless of whether you think it's popular.  Frequently teens pretend to go along but wish someone would intervene when things get out of hand because they are unsure of how to respond themselves.  Taking a stand and stopping "fun" at the expense of others sets an example of defending civility and respect.  Be prepared to offer acceptable alternatives to inappropriate behaviors or behaviors that lead to others being hurt or disrespected.
7. Help them own bad choices without identifying them as "bad."  Adults frequently fall into the trap of justifying their children's behaviors to protect them.  In reality they are being protected from life lessons that will help them increase judgement that is forming during teen developmental years.  Adults just as frequently come down hard on teens.  They need to be loved to learn.  As much as possible, let consequences be natural results of their choices. 

As parents and community leaders, we have to be aware that respect and civility are the heart of developing cultural competency.  We are obligated to be as much as we are obligated to teach.  When we respect ourselves and others, we set the tone for children to follow.